You Talkin to Me?

Good evening Virtual Readers welcome to another edition of Bent Goods, I'll be your server this evening can I get you a beverage to start? Well, it's that time of year again, where the stockings are hung by the fire, to dry them and vision of sugar cookies dance in their heads. How did they know it was sugar cookies? Maybe it was peanut butter? May contain nuts.

I'd like to start off by wishing you a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Holidays, or a Happy Hanukkah, or whatever salutation works for you.

There is a movement going on right now, somewhere, to change the way we say any of the above. Now, I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent fella but I have a confession to make. I don't really know who or what or where those changes are in the, am I a good guy or am I an asshole, category. If we have to make it political, and by we I mean them, it's fairly easy to find the line and then it just becomes a choice.

But what about everyday, ordinary gears? The people who we should thank for working through the Christmas season, or holiday season, or Happy Hanukkah. The cogs in the system that we see every day and rely on to bring us our lunch, or complete our purchases for our loved ones.

Yeah, you. What says you? Do you care if I say Merry Christmas? Or Happy Holidays?

I can answer for myself and I can tell you that it doesn't matter to me. It matters so little that you could just say, have a good day and I would respond in kind. And isn't this the way it should be? I am not a religious person as I'm sure I've mentioned before and the act of saying Merry Christmas holds no religious connotations whatsoever. None. Zip. Zilch. It's just something I've said and have had said to me my whole, entire life. Of course, I understand the religious implications but I just don't think it's necessary to apply them to this. Crazy right? I mean how could I possibly slight Jesus like that. I mean Santa says Merry Christmas so he must be a Christian, right? But he delivers presents to all good boys and girls and even some of the ones right on the line. And let me tell you something, not all of those girls and boys are Christian. Hell, the majority probably are not Christian. So what the fuck gives Santa? Are you switching to Happy Hanukkah?

So why is this a thing?

Let me tell you about my limited experience this year with the yuletide greetings. I started to pay attention to how people greeted, or more commonly, wished me a time of year and I want you to know that I responded in the same fashion. So, if someone said Merry Christmas, I replied with the same, if for no other reason than it was comfortable. My findings and I have no scientific evidence to back this up, was that about 90% said Merry Christmas and the rest said Happy Holidays.

What does this mean? Nothing. Not one god-dammed thing. It's just the way it is, in my neck of the woods, it's not political and it's not religious. It is just the way it is.

Now to be fair some of the people who gave me this greeting or sent me on my way, very well may have been Christian. Devout even. It mattered to me not even a little bit and I'd like to think it mattered to them, my religious beliefs in question, the same amount. I mean how could anyone know what my religious beliefs are without outright asking me? They certainly don't want to profile anyone, do they? I know I don't. I don't have the time nor the inclination to puzzle that out. Why? Because it's none of my business, that is why.

I have a radical idea. No, no, don't shake your head, or roll your eyes like that. Hear me out. Are you ready? Greet people however the fuck you are comfortable with greeting them. Right? So simple. You see because the greeting or the farewell is just that thing. It shouldn't be a statement about my religious or non-religious beliefs. My greeting should hold no political point of view at all and no one, I repeat, no one should take this in a personal way. In society, it is expected but not mandatory to greet people when passing them during our day to day missions. The cashier at the supermarket, the server who brought me my deep-fried pickles and every other worker, who for very shitty wages, does this every, single, day. Be courteous if not friendly, this is the expectation. At this time of year, whether we like it or not, this is the norm. So it doesn't matter if we say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or, My Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire.

What we should be trying to say is, I hope you are in a good place if not happy. I appreciate what you are doing to help me with my things. I want you and your loved ones to be healthy and happy and I really hope you get to spend time with them. I wish we could be together with those we love, and if not, that those we love can be together with someone they love. This is what Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah should be saying. Should be screaming.

So I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone and anyone that had to work and help during this, the season of "giving". Thank You. Even to that woman in Best Buy, who thought it was more important to be on her facebook instead of selling me a cellphone, for my mother, who is stuck in the hospital for this Christmas season. Yes even to her, I extend a Happy Christnukkahdays! Or, Merry Hanumasdays!

Be kind. Be friendly. Be respectful. Long days and pleasant nights.

AW

"You talkin to me? You talkin to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

Travis Bickle - Taxi Driver